Meaghan's Magical Mystery Forest

Where in the world am I living?

I now live in a house.  I live in a humongous house, in a great neighborhood, next to a wonderful lake.  But, what is going on in the yard?!

I don't have any grass.  My entire property is tiled.  It's a bit ridiculous, and quite confusing for the dog, but it's been okay.  Until the crazy animals started showing up!

Paul is convinced that I have a monkey.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, a monkey.  The very first day I moved into the house, Paul peered through the cutouts in the wall and into the neighbor's yard.  He was trying to see the neighbor's pool, but he saw a monkey!  He jumped back from the wall and made a crazy sound.  He swore it was a monkey that climbed up the wall in front of the cut out, and I swore he was crazy.  That was until I had my own monkey sightings.

One morning, as I was letting the dog out, I saw a figure.  It was a dark figure, hunched over, monkey-like.  It was sitting on top of the arbor in the yard.  The entire structure trembled as this thing bounced across it, and back over to the neighbor's yard.

Then, there was the evening sighting when I was watching television.  Manao started barking.  At first I didn't think much of it, until she started going crazy.  Something was going on.  I went outside and heard a great crash as this same monkey-sized figure hopped from the roof on the storage space to the roof over our outdoor bathroom and then back over the fence.  I was petrified.  And thoroughly convinced that I have a monkey.

Paul has attempted to trap the monkey, but he has had no luck.

While the monkey is scary, we have had a variety of other creatures roaming around the house, inside and out.  One morning after Manao and I walked around the lake we came home and I began watering the plants.  Within moments Manao was hopping around whining in pain, tossing her head about.  Upon closer inspection I noticed that she had a crab clinging to her snout!  The tiny thing had it's very strong claw stuck on her wet nose, and he was not letting go.  A crab.  In my tiled yard.  What in the world?

Then there was the snake.  Well, one of the snakes.  We have green snakes, black snakes, big snakes, and small snakes.  But this snake was different.  When I found it, it was constricting a toad.  Yes, we have toads as well.  According to my roommate, a snake fanatic, there are only a few types of snakes that constrict their prey, and none of them are safe.  Well, that was a comforting little fact.  Thank you, Andy.

Oh, and then there was the tokay in the bathroom.  A tokay is a very large gecko.  A very fast, large gecko.  The three of us spent at least 30 minutes trying to catch it and get it out of the house.  Luckily, Andy wasn't scared, and he grabbed it, let it bite him, and threw it outside.

The most recent creatures have been the creepiest by far.  We have rats.  They live behind the house in the water shed.  But, that area opens up to the Thai kitchen.  The kitchen was an addition to the house, and we usually keep it completely closed from the rest of the house when we are not using it.  One morning I went into the Thai kitchen to find a huge mess.  Rat footprints and tail marks covered the kitchen.  The top of the vegetable oil had been gnawed off, and it was spilled everywhere.  My container of very expensive Hershey's cocoa was chewed open and cocoa covered a large portion of the floor.  The tiles around the sink were broken.  It was disgusting and scary.  What filthy creatures.  It gives me the chills to think about it.  But once again, thank goodness for the men in my life.  Paul came to the rescue.  First he did research on the internet and told me about a rat's ability to reproduce 7 times per year.  And assured me that I probably have an entire colony of rats.  Well, thank you for that fact!  But, he found that peanut butter would be the best bait for the trap.  And unlike his attempt at monkey trapping, he was successful this time.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Paul trapped a rat.  What did he do with the rat?  I'll tell you when you're older.

Teacher Paul, my hero.

You swing those arms! You go, girl!

As I was running this evening, thinking about life, my future, my present, my goals, my dreams, and various other unimportant running thoughts, something awesome happened.

Now keep in mind, this is all happening at the end of my very long week, the evening of a very long Friday.  I am tired from work, tired of work, tired from life, tired of life in Thailand, and just plain tired.  And then it happened.

As my iPod played the same 8 songs I run to every day through my right ear, my left ear pod is broken, "California Gurls" came on.  For those of you that don't know, "California Gurls" is by Katy Perry and features Snoop Dogg.  I have learned every word by heart, and no, I'm not entirely proud of it.  But tonight, as the song went in one ear and out the other, and my thoughts floated somewhere in between, the whole world clicked.

I was running with pep in my step, my back wasn't hurting, and as the song hit the chorus...

California girls

We're unforgettable

Daisy Dukes

Bikinis on top

Sun-kissed skin

So hot

Will melt your popsicle

Oooooh Oh Oooooh

California girls

We're undeniable

Fine, fresh, fierce

We got it on lock

West coast represent

Now put your hands up

Oooooh Oh Oooooh

 ..... the woman walking in front of me on the path started swaying her arms.  As in perfect Thai style, swaying arms and swinging hips is considered fitness.  And walking while doing both is supahhh fitness.  So, as the Thai woman swung her hips and flung her arms about, I continued to run, watching in amazement as she did it all in perfect sync with the song.  It was all too amazing.

And this was no in-sync-turn-signal-situation.  You know what I mean, when you are stopped at a light, and the person in front of you has his blinker on that is perfectly in time with yours, but after a few clicks you are out of sync again?  No way, Jose.  She just kept swinging and swaying, and she stayed in perfect rhythm.  I slowed down my run just to see how long it would last!

Pretty lame story, I know.  But it sure did put a smile on my face.

Click here for the song!

It's coming to an end.

I am quickly approaching the one year mark on my time in Thailand.  But I am also quickly approaching my return to the States.  My friends have made it quite clear that they know I am leaving, and they aren't happy about it.  One of my friends has already begun making a slideshow for my departure... in eight months!  While I think he is jumping the gun a bit, it has made me think about my time here and the things I will miss, and the things I definitely will not.

Things I will not miss:

1. Driving a motorbike- Driving here is super dangerous to begin with.  Put yourself on a motorbike, and things get crazy.  People weave and swerve and do not obey rules of the road.  Correction- there are no rules of the road.  And with the rainy season in full swing, I hate having to plan my day, night and life around whether or not I can drive there without swamping my bike in my flooded neighborhood.  Just give me a car, with a windshield, a seat with a back, and maybe even a radio!  Gosh, that sounds nice.

2. The people- The people here can be brutal.  Let's just say that in the land of smiles, after 10 months, people aren't so smiley anymore.  I'll spare you the stories for now, but I have had some pretty wicked run-ins with a handful of teachers at school, and boy, they changed my whole perspective!

3. The rainy season- Just let me go to work without getting soaked!  Let me run around the lake without ending up knee deep in water and ruining my ipod.  Let me be able to drive through my neighborhood without putting my motorbike out of commission.  Let me walk across the school without wiping out on the soaking wet tile.  And seriously, in a country where it rains for three months straight, why is there so much tile?  Shouldn't we have thought this through...?  Let it stop!

4. The food situation- Street food?  Salad bars on motorbikes?  Can't I just eat like a normal person?  How about a nice bowl of pasta that I prepared for myself?  Or maybe a sandwich?  Is that really so much to ask?  I'm over noodles, sticky rice and chicken on a stick.  I'm just plain sick of the impressive selection of goodies at 7-11.  Give me some good ol' American grub.

5. Teaching- Why won't the students listen to me?  Oh right, because they don't understand a good portion of what I am saying.  Enough said.

6. My friends and family back home- Well, it's true.  When I am back in the States, I won't have to miss everyone there.  I'll be able to text message and visit.  Heck, I'll be able to talk to people within a 3 hour time difference!

Things I will miss:

1. Driving a motorbike- Driving and feeling the wind in my hair is a feeling that I don't want to give up.  Driving the motorbike with Manao perched between my feet, loving every second of our drive to 7- 11 is something I don't want to forget.  Being able to park just about anywhere, oh it's so nice.  Having the ability to weave through traffic, passing hundreds of cars and completely missing all jams, I know I will miss that!

2. The people-  People know me around here.  They may not know my name, or have any idea how to communicate with me, but they know me.  They recognize me.  And they always smile.  Sometimes I get the occasional "hellloooo!"  Or the whispering as they tell each other, "oh, it's the farang!  The farang!"  But, they are always kind.  They remember what I like to eat at certain food stalls.  They know that I don't like my iced coffee too sweet.  They know that I always get 100 baht worth of gas.  They know that I always get 300 baht phone cards.  And they know that I drink Leo beer every Friday night.  They just know.  They always are kind.  And I will definitely miss them.   

3. The rainy season- What a relief.  After months of intense heat and burning sunshine, the rain is wonderful.  All of the trees are green again.  Everything is lush and beautiful.  The storms are the most intense storms I have ever experienced, and they are thrilling.  The entire house shakes as the thunder rolls, and I can read a book with the amount of light emitted as the lightening strikes.  To be able to sleep with the windows open and the cool breeze blowing through is absolutely wonderful.

4. The food situation- Fruit vendors on every corner?  That's pretty sweet.  Pad thai?  It will never be as delicious in a restaurant as it is on the street.  Sticky rice?  Som tam?  Mango?  Fried bananas?  Ice cream from a bicycle?  Fried chicken on a motorbike?  I need to go eat something right now.  Just the spice in general will be missed back in America.  

5. Teaching- What's not to miss?  The kids are hilarious.  They adore me, and I adore them.  We have tons of fun, and my job is never boring.  Why would I give this up?

6. My friends and family in Thailand- Simon and Paul.  New and Sang.  Kar and Mom.  Pae and Mameaw.  T. Sue and T. Sow.  These are the people that have become my family here.  They take care of me.  They make sure I am eating well, but never too much.  They make sure that I always know what is going on in school and outside.  They are my social life and my work life.  These people have made my life here what it is.  And I honestly don't know how I will say goodbye.  But yes, Mom, I will.