Meaghan's Magical Mystery Forest

Where in the world am I living?

I now live in a house.  I live in a humongous house, in a great neighborhood, next to a wonderful lake.  But, what is going on in the yard?!

I don't have any grass.  My entire property is tiled.  It's a bit ridiculous, and quite confusing for the dog, but it's been okay.  Until the crazy animals started showing up!

Paul is convinced that I have a monkey.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, a monkey.  The very first day I moved into the house, Paul peered through the cutouts in the wall and into the neighbor's yard.  He was trying to see the neighbor's pool, but he saw a monkey!  He jumped back from the wall and made a crazy sound.  He swore it was a monkey that climbed up the wall in front of the cut out, and I swore he was crazy.  That was until I had my own monkey sightings.

One morning, as I was letting the dog out, I saw a figure.  It was a dark figure, hunched over, monkey-like.  It was sitting on top of the arbor in the yard.  The entire structure trembled as this thing bounced across it, and back over to the neighbor's yard.

Then, there was the evening sighting when I was watching television.  Manao started barking.  At first I didn't think much of it, until she started going crazy.  Something was going on.  I went outside and heard a great crash as this same monkey-sized figure hopped from the roof on the storage space to the roof over our outdoor bathroom and then back over the fence.  I was petrified.  And thoroughly convinced that I have a monkey.

Paul has attempted to trap the monkey, but he has had no luck.

While the monkey is scary, we have had a variety of other creatures roaming around the house, inside and out.  One morning after Manao and I walked around the lake we came home and I began watering the plants.  Within moments Manao was hopping around whining in pain, tossing her head about.  Upon closer inspection I noticed that she had a crab clinging to her snout!  The tiny thing had it's very strong claw stuck on her wet nose, and he was not letting go.  A crab.  In my tiled yard.  What in the world?

Then there was the snake.  Well, one of the snakes.  We have green snakes, black snakes, big snakes, and small snakes.  But this snake was different.  When I found it, it was constricting a toad.  Yes, we have toads as well.  According to my roommate, a snake fanatic, there are only a few types of snakes that constrict their prey, and none of them are safe.  Well, that was a comforting little fact.  Thank you, Andy.

Oh, and then there was the tokay in the bathroom.  A tokay is a very large gecko.  A very fast, large gecko.  The three of us spent at least 30 minutes trying to catch it and get it out of the house.  Luckily, Andy wasn't scared, and he grabbed it, let it bite him, and threw it outside.

The most recent creatures have been the creepiest by far.  We have rats.  They live behind the house in the water shed.  But, that area opens up to the Thai kitchen.  The kitchen was an addition to the house, and we usually keep it completely closed from the rest of the house when we are not using it.  One morning I went into the Thai kitchen to find a huge mess.  Rat footprints and tail marks covered the kitchen.  The top of the vegetable oil had been gnawed off, and it was spilled everywhere.  My container of very expensive Hershey's cocoa was chewed open and cocoa covered a large portion of the floor.  The tiles around the sink were broken.  It was disgusting and scary.  What filthy creatures.  It gives me the chills to think about it.  But once again, thank goodness for the men in my life.  Paul came to the rescue.  First he did research on the internet and told me about a rat's ability to reproduce 7 times per year.  And assured me that I probably have an entire colony of rats.  Well, thank you for that fact!  But, he found that peanut butter would be the best bait for the trap.  And unlike his attempt at monkey trapping, he was successful this time.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Paul trapped a rat.  What did he do with the rat?  I'll tell you when you're older.

Teacher Paul, my hero.