I have been trying to blog. I have been trying so hard to write. I currently have eleven blog drafts that I have started in the past two weeks and can't seem to finish. I think it's because of the boy. When I start writing and get deep into my thoughts, he is always there. So many of my drafts have nothing to do with him, but I can't stop. This is the one blog that I have been able to finish, so I'm sorry that it isn't all rainbows and butterflies, but I wanted to write something.
I'm doing fine. You could probably say that I'm doing well, but I constantly second-guess myself and the progress I have made.
Life in Madison has been different. When I first moved to this town I was forced to be independent. I went out, made friends and joined clubs. I played the online dating game and I met a great guy. That great guy became a wonderful boyfriend, and I became comfortable with my built-in best friend. And now I am back to where I was one year ago, attempting to navigate this town alone. It's fun and it's terrifying. I became so accustomed to being in a relationship that I somehow forgot how much time I have when I'm alone. Since we broke up about a month ago I have watched an entire season of Orange is the New Black. I have walked a lot. I go to bed earlier. I bike to and from work a lot. And the two times I have run into him at work I have felt physically ill. This is why I didn't want to date a co-worker.
Tonight is another Friday night. I plan to bike home from work and make food for a football party this weekend. Tomorrow I will be going back to yoga with a friend and then cleaning my apartment before Chip comes to visit. Sunday I am thinking brunch and a long bike ride with Chip. In the evening we can explore more of Madison together.
I'll continue to take it day by day. It is bound to get better.
