Two Cents

This morning I received a telephone call from my dad's BFF.  I usually refer to him as my dad's boyfriend, but for those of you that don't know my dad, or know that he isn't gay, I'll call him his BFF.

I was extremely embarrassed when he called me at 9:30 this morning and I was still asleep.  In my defense, I went to the midnight showing of The Hunger Games and didn't arrive home until 4 am, but I was embarrassed nonetheless.  The BFF called to congratulate me on my job offers and offer me his two cents, as I had asked for.

He told me that if it were him, he would choose the job requiring travel.  He went on to explain that I am young and without commitments (read: single) and the Madison winters can be brutal.  He said I would probably enjoy and appreciate getting out of the city during the winters and exploring other parts of the country.  He also said that the traveling job would be a great resume builder.  He had a similar position when he was younger and gained a lot from it.  The money would also be a factor in his decision, but as he gave his reasoning, it seemed more like an afterthought than anything else.

I thanked the BFF for his input, and apologized again for being lazy and asleep so late.  He said if he weren't working, he would still be asleep as well.  I'm not sure if that made me feel better or worse, but I thanked him for his help and said goodbye.

When I pressed "end" on the call I was thrown back to square one.  As I digested what the BFF had told me, I realized that I wasn't, in fact, back at square one at all!  Everything he said were things I had considered, but things I had decided against on my own.  His two cents was worth a heck of a lot more than a couple pennies.  His two cents helped me to realize what I really want in my life now.

As exciting as the travel seemed, I have been doing that for years now.  It sounds far more exciting for me to move to a city and really start my life there.  After I graduated from Tulsa in 2008, I lived in Saratoga for five months before traveling with Garvey.  After an August and September back in Saratoga I moved to Thailand.  I traveled throughout southeast Asia during my time there, and moved back to Saratoga in December, and then New York City in January.  Right now, the last thing I want is to travel.  The idea of living in an apartment half the time and out of a suitcase half of the time doesn't sound so great.  Coming home and always having an empty refrigerator does not sound ideal.  Instead, I want to know Madison.  I want to join a kickball team.  I want to have a favorite bar.  I want to make friends.  I want to join a book club.  I want to date.  I want to have a full fridge.  I want to have a social life.  I want to bake.  A lot.

I'm choosing grocery store frequent shopper points over frequent flyer miles.  Thanks, Mike!

Did I tell you that?

On New Year’s Eve Dexter and I had a breakfast date.  But considering we were both a few minutes late for our 11:00 breakfast date, it ended up morphing into more of a lunch date, but that is beside the point.  While standing in line for the most delicious bagels in the greater capital region, a tall man behind us said, “hey, Dexter!  How are ya?”  Dexter and I both turned to look at him.  I had no idea who he was, but he hadn’t said hi to me.  When he reintroduced himself to Dexter I knew exactly who he was.  My, how my little brother’s friends have grown!  He then said hello to me, asked me how things were going, and turned his attention back to Dexter.  He congratulated Dexter on his most recent, and very impressive, accomplishment, earning Coach of the Year in Colorado.  Dexter thanked him, we ordered our food and sat down to chat.

We sat for a while catching up.  He told me about his kids running.  I told him about my kids that I left in Thailand.  We both talked about teaching.  We both talked about how much we love working with kids.  And then, as the person who knew us said goodbye and left, we started talking about technology.  Dexter mildly mocked me for my obsessive blogging, but admitted his desire to read it.  But between my blog, our two smartphones, and looking around the coffee shop to see all the different types of technology, we agreed that it is just the way of the world these days.  But what Dexter said to me, made me think more about what we are all doing with this technology.  

Dexter has been living in Colorado since we graduated from high school in 2005.  He went to university there, worked for a few years, and is now back in school again and coaching high school.  Throughout the years he and I have kept in touch over the phone, through facebook, birthday cards and the occasional Saratoga reunion.  But, as I have spent quite a bit of time with him over the last week or so, I have watched as tons of people have congratulated him on his coaching.  So, over our lightly toasted bagels with a schmear, he said, and yes, I wrote this quote down in my telephone, “I have to not get offended when people don’t ask me stuff because it’s on facebook.”

Dexter then explained how strange it has been to come back to Saratoga to be congratulated for something he never told the person about.  Yes, it was put on facebook and reposted by friends and family members, but it is a bizarre concept.  The two of us questioned when it became socially acceptable to use a status update or tweet to start a conversation, without ever asking questions about it.  Instead of asking, “oh, Dexter, what have you been up to?” leading to the coach of the year conversation, people simply congratulate him.  

I could sympathize with the strangeness of it, being a big time blogger and all.  But how much do we assume we know about others based on profiles, updates and tweets?  And just because we know it, should we be commenting on it?

Dexter and I came to the conclusion that it is 2012.  We can’t do anything about the information floating around out there.  And, being bloggers, facebookers, tweeters, etc., we are only encouraging the global distribution of information.  We do, however, love real conversations.  It would have been wonderful for the younger unnamed man to say, “congrats about the Coach of the Year!  I read about it in the paper... Tell me about it!”  But, alas, he didn’t.  And Dexter “has to not get offended.”  

As we continue to put the information out there, we have to accept that people have received the information.  So even though I read the statuses, I will probably still ask you questions.  And even though you read my blog, I will still answer any question you ask me!  I think Dexter would say the same.