Bachelor Number 4: Part Two

Continued from this post.

But for those of you that don't feel like catching up on past posts, let me recap:

1. I am catching up on forgotten posts.
2. Boy named Rob messages me.
3. Boy named Rob is not my boyfriend.
4. Boy takes me out to dinner and drinks.
5. Boy can make good conversation.
6. Boy asks me out again.
7. I accept said invite, but hesitate due to lack of chemistry.
8. I cross my fingers for sparks.

Rob was taking me out to dinner followed by dancing. He was going to pick me up in twenty minutes, and I was still debating what to wear. The jeans I was wearing made my butt look great, but maybe I should wear a dress instead. I put on a dress. I took off the dress. I put on my jeans again. Yes.

With my hair done, my awesome jeans, new necklace and rockin' patent leather heels, I was ready to go.

I met Rob downstairs and my heart sunk. He gave me an awkward one-armed hug and I cringed.

Come on, Meaghan! There is still potential here, give the poor guy a chance.

I stood on the sidewalk next to Rob looking for his car.

"Since we are so close, I thought we could walk to dinner."

I responded by saying, "sure. Sounds great!" When deep down I was thinking, are you kidding me?! You told me you were picking me up! Do you see my heels? It is at least half a mile to the restaurant. Don't get me wrong, I love a good walk, but again, did you see my heels?

And so we walked.

Well, he walked while I scurried, ran, jogged, speed walked and generally struggled to keep up with him and his short legs which managed to take extremely long strides.

We arrived at Sardine and were brought to our table. I had received tips from a coworker about what to get and had been salivating all day in anticipation, so I immediately ordered a drink and an appetizer. Rob ordered his own appetizer and drink and our table was instantly filled with food, drinks, conversation, and confirmation that I wasn't attracted to the man sitting across from me.

We shared a bottle of wine and ate an outrageous amount of delicious food while I hoped that the date would end immediately after dinner. I was not so fortunate.

Rob suggested we head up to the square to go dancing. And somehow, I couldn't say no. I don't know if it was the wine or my inability to simply tell Rob I wasn't interested, but next thing I knew, we were walking.

Rob walked the half mile uphill without an issue while I struggled to keep up. The road was uneven, the sidewalks were littered with cracks, and my incredibly high and brand new heels could not be classified as appropriate walking shoes. At one point Rob turned to me and asked if I wanted him to slow down.

I didn't even hide my frustration when I snapped, "Uhhh, yeah. That would be nice."

We finally made it to a great bar on the square and I made a beeline for the bartender. I ordered some fancy drink and didn't even offer to pay when we got the check. After the trek up the hill, I was not pleased with Rob and his lack of manners in the walking department. He didn't offer me an arm during the entire walk and ran across one of the streets before I was even with him, leaving me stranded on the other side. I decided that he could pay for my drink... all twelve dollars of it.

While we stood by a high table and sipped on our drinks the music switched from cocktail hour tunes to dancing jams. In a normal situation I would have loved to dance, but Rob beat me to it. The second he began dancing I knew how very over we were. I looked around the bar hoping to find chairs for us where I could keep him from doing whatever it was he was doing with his hips. When I couldn't find any I took another sip of my drink and excused myself to the bathroom.

I went to the bathroom, washed and lotioned my hands, primped, reapplied my lipstick, fixed my makeup, checked my email, considered leaving the bar on my own, decided against it, checked my OkCupid app, found a message from Bachelor Number 5, grinned from ear to ear, responded, checked my makeup again, and went back to my date.

It didn't take me very long for me to finish my drink. Rob asked if I wanted another. I told him that I needed to go home. I had a half-marathon training run in the morning and I just wanted to go home. I offered to go home on my own, but he told me that he would walk with me. I rolled my eyes at his misuse of the word 'walk' and started for the door.

When we got outside Rob offered me his arm. I gratefully took it thinking that I could slow him down while simultaneously using him for support as I navigated the sidewalks and streets downhill.

With Rob on my left we walked on the sidewalk heading back to my apartment. As people walked towards us in the opposite direction Rob moved to the right to give them room. What Rob failed to notice was that he was pushing me off the sidewalk. On a Saturday night, the sidewalks on the square are thoroughfares, and this night was no exception. With each approaching person I was sent dodging mailboxes, and traversing the grate around the planted trees, getting my heel caught only twice.

When I saw the group of four women coming towards us, I knew I was in trouble.

As Rob sidestepped to the right I held onto his arm and kept walking. But Rob moved over further.

Before I knew what had happened my heel was off the edge of the sidewalk and I was rolling in the gutter of the street with one shoe off and one shoe on. (Diddle, diddle dumpling, my son John)

Rob stood above me on the sidewalk and before asking if I was okay or if he could help he said, "what happened?"

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

He offered me a hand, but I knew what help that had been, so I refused the help and got up on my own while the smoke billowed out of my ears. I stood up only to have to wait for the walk signal to change, giving me enough time to see the three corner bars and all of the smokers standing outside watching me.

One of the smokers called out, "nice job, dude! You're not getting any tonight!"

I was too angry to chuckle.

I ran across the street and down the hill, leaving Rob in my dust.

He caught up to me and walked next to me quietly the rest of the way home.

"That was unbelievably embarrassing."
"You shouldn't be embarrassed."
"Well, I am. And you should be too."

When we made it back to my building I thanked Rob for dinner and said goodnight.

And then he did it. He went in for a kiss! I was completely caught off guard, knowing that no man in his right mind would attempt to kiss me after a date like that. I did my very best to avoid it, and only partly succeeded. He got an awkward corner of my lip but mostly cheek and an overall signal that I wasn't interested.

I walked upstairs and changed his name in my telephone to "Curb Pusher."

Needless to say I woke up bruised. I had bruises on my knee, hip, butt and the heel of my hand. But I also woke up with a great story.

Next!