Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Grey Hairs

I am so frustrated right now.  I want to pull my hair out.  I also want to cry.  But, my officemate is around, so I’m holding back the tears.

With over 1,000 printed pages in front of me and another 524 in an Adobe PDF file open on my desktop, I am not able to find the answer I am looking for.  I am supposed to be working on my project right now.  But for the last two hours I have been searching over 3 reams of paper’s worth of information, trying for the life of me to figure out where to begin.

Do I know what I am doing?  Nope.  Not a clue. 

Do I feel like an idiot?  Yup.  Absolutely.

Do I feel smart enough to be working here?  Not in the slightest.  I feel like an idiot.

Do I have a headache?  That’s a silly question.  I now live with a constant headache.  Seriously, I carry ibuprofen on my person at all times.

I’m a computer idiot to begin with.  Let’s play the honest game, I own a Mac.  And as every person that works for this company has made clear, those are not good computers.  So here I sit, wishing I could swoop to a corner and see all of my open windows or use the little spotlight feature to find my answer.  I am praying that I stumble upon the answer sometime in the near future.  And I am begging that I don’t burst into tears while Rob is still in here, because I really want him to come to my birthday party tomorrow, and I think crying might scare him away.

But, by God, what am I doing here?  How in the world am I supposed to train people on this software if I can’t even create a bloody SmartSet!  Ahhh!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Stumble Upon This!

As the owner of this blog I can see how people get to my blog.  For example, I can see if someone searches "capitol of Cambodia Sean Penn" and ends up here.  Remember that post?

I can see where people are located around the world when they read this blog.  I can also see what site referred them to my blog.  So when I plug my blog on facebook and twitter, I can see the influx of readers from those sites. 

But huge news on the Live Fully site!!  StumbleUpon is now referring people to my blog!  Yes, you read correctly.  A whole 2 people have stumbled and come across my blog.

Maybe I'm crazy for getting so excited about two readers, but I think this is huge news.  When I stumble across blogs, I think they must be some kind of big deal, and never considered my blog to be part of that crowd.  Surprise!  I made it!

Keep on stumblin' on!


Much love, Stumblers.  Much love.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Turn that frown upside down!

Monday was a rough day.

It was my first staff meeting at work, and oh my goodness was it overwhelming.  Over 6,000 employees in one auditorium for over 2 hours?  Yikes.

After that, we had an all trainers meeting followed by a team meeting.  Let's just say, there were a lot of meetings today.  And as an employee still fully engrossed in training, and desperately trying to learn the lingo of the land, I had to think really hard... all day long.

I know that sounds silly, but it is so true.

This company runs on acronyms, and I don't know any of them.  I am trying to learn the names of each application, and I haven't even attempted to learn what each app does!  I don't know computer stuff.  I don't get Star Wars jokes.  Basically, I don't speak dork yet.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am not judging dork at all!  Dork is what created a job for me!  But, I don't understand what is being said!  Therefore, in my 5 hours of meetings yesterday, I had to listen really hard.  I had to think about what the acronym might be referring to.  Or, what the Yoda reference may have meant.  Then I would quickly think about how I need to buy Star Wars to watch, before I was struggling to keep up with which app was being discussed.

Needless to say, I left work with a pounding headache.  I thought too much.  I looked at too many screens.  I didn't drink enough water.  I was beginning to stress about upcoming deadlines.

I drove home, popped some ibuprofen, took Wilbur out for a walk, and decided to turn my day around.  The day hadn't been all bad, but my headache was taking over, and I needed to end on a good note.

I called the cable company and I spoke to the nicest man named Paul.  Paul helped me to pick the right cable package for me.  He made sure it includes ABC, Food Network, CMT and TLC.  Then he scheduled for the technician to come out Wednesday evening between 5 and 7pm.  Perfect!

While I was on the cable high, I went to the mattress store.  I know I need to get off my air mattress, but I have been working late, and I hate leaving Wilbur alone longer than he needs to be.  But on Saturday even my horoscope told me to buy a new mattress, so I knew it was time.

I went into Mattress Firm where Gabe helped me to pick the perfect mattress.  I awkwardly jumped around on the beds, feeling a bit like Goldilocks.  As I went down the row I would barely let my head hit the pillow before saying, "oh no, toooooo soft" and moving onto the next.  Gabe occasionally came back to check on me, but he left me to my bouncing, shifting, sitting, side sleeping and back sleeping.

After a good thirty minutes of bed testing, I picked my favorite, and the sales game began.  Gabe tried to sell me a nicer frame, I denied him.  Gabe tried to sell me a special mattress pad, and I denied him again.  Gabe told me the mattress pad normally sells for $119, but he would give it to me for $69.  I said no thank you.  He asked me why I didn't why to buy his super special mattress pad, and I told him I already had one.  Of course, that was a lie.  I was just planning to go to Target to buy one for less than $69.  Finally, Gabe pulled out the big guns.  He would sell me the super special mattress pad/ protector for $25.  Sold, fine sir.  Sold.  I would have paid more than that at Target, so Gabe, you win.  Better yet, I win.

With my mattress protector and washing instructions in hand, I headed home.  But, I took a detour.  I went to Bed Bath & Beyond to buy myself new sheets for my new bed.  I was able to drive from one side of town to the complete opposite side without using my GPS, and that alone put a smile on my face!   At BB&B I found egyptian cotton sheets, that I think will feel wonderful.  I spent almost as long shopping for sheets as I did for my bed!

I decided that while I was in the area, I should give Home Depot a shot for purchasing a kitchen trashcan.  I have an awesome slide out trashcan drawer in my kitchen with a slot for a trashcan.  But, I hadn't yet found a trash can that fit it!  I bought one that was too tall, one too wide, and one too deep for the opening.  Home Depot was my last stop before I was going to give up for a while.  So, while I was in the neighborhood, I ran in, bought a trash can for $6.97 and left.  On my entire drive home, I was sure the trashcan would be too big.  At one stoplight I would look at it and think, yeah, it looks too tall.  At the next stoplight I would look at it from another angle and think, yup, definitely too wide.  I cursed myself as I brought it up to my apartment, knowing I was wasting time and energy. 

I walked into the apartment and sighed with relief.  Not only had Wilbur successfully spent the time I was gone out of his kennel, but he was quiet!  Or he was not noisy enough to have the neighbors complain, but I'll go with quiet.  I played with the pup for a few minutes, reminding him that I hadn't abandoned him yet.

Begrudgingly I went into the kitchen to test the new trashcan.  And much to my surprise, it fit!  I threw a little party and got Wilbur super worked up.  Wilbur doesn't know what "trashcan," "it fits," or "we really live here now" mean, but he now knows that they are all good phrases.

With my new trashcan in place and my puppy tired from the trashcan party, I continued on my productive streak.  I unpacked the rest of my clothing, hanging and folding, and placing each item in its new home.

And as if that weren't enough, I started one of my many picture projects!  I have tons of framed photos but many have old photos in them, and all have dirty glass.  So, one by one, I opened the frames, took out the photos and cleaned the glass.  I only sliced two of my fingers, and I still have frames to fill, but it was a good evening's work.

After my super long and rough day at work, I was able to turn it around.

The moral of the story: With the help of an adorable dog, a credit card and ibuprofen, anything can get better!

Monday, July 16, 2012

Fancy Phones Change Friendships

I have spent enough time back in the US now to make, what I feel to be, appropriate and unbiased observations.  Yes, when I first moved back I had a hard time transitioning.  Ask anyone and they would confirm that every other word out of my mouth was Thailand.  Instead of "Mr. Sopelak said..." it was "in Thailand...."

But now, I have moved on.  I still love Thailand and miss it, but I am unbelievably grateful and happy to be back in the US.  That being said, I have a bone to pick with, well, a lot of people.
What is it with people and their phones?!  Ahhh!

Yes, I bought myself an iPhone, as I assumed I would, but I really don't think I am addicted to it.  The reason I believe I can say this is because it is so obvious to me that most of the people in my life are.  I am going to be honest and say that none of my friends are important enough in their jobs to have to check their emails every thirty seconds.  Sorry, but it's true.  And, if the email needs to be checked, it probably doesn't have to be done in the middle of the story I am telling you.  Or, while we are walking down the street.  Or while we are eating dinner.  None of us are that important.

I am guilty of checking my email too frequently, and I know it's only because I can. I know that the Banana Republic, amazon.com and West Elm advertisements, promotions and sales will still be there in a few hours, but I check for them regardless.  I check my email while I'm watching television, or waiting for the subway, but not while I am having a conversation with someone. I cannot stand that my friends choose our face to face time as an appropriate time to check their emails! If it is that important, or you are that important, excuse yourself. All it takes is a simple, "I'm sorry, I need to check for an important email. Oh! Here it is. I am going to quickly read and respond." That wasn't so hard, was it?

Then there is the facebook thing.  I love a great facebook stalking session just as much as the next person, but every twelve seconds?  How much could have really happened?  Did someone just comment on a photo?  Or update a status?  Or "like" something? Ahhh! Must. Know. Now! Really? You don't need to check your Facebook that frequently! How about we have a real conversation and take some photos of our real life interaction. Then, you will have something new to add to Facebook.  I know, I'm just talking crazy now.

But my number one telephone pet peeve is the texting. Oh. Em. Gee. The texting.  I have never been a huge fan of the texting.  I was in Thailand when I think texting really blew up.  I clearly remember driving home from the airport on my first trip back to the States in the fall of 2010.  My mom was driving and I borrowed her phone to get in touch with a few of my friends.  I called Dave and left him a voicemail.  I told him that I was back in the area for two weeks and would love to see him.  As soon as I hung up my mom said, "ummm... we don't really do that anymore."  I felt as though I had missed part of the car's conversation while I was leaving a voicemail and asked, "don't do what?"

"Leave voicemails.  Everyone just texts now."

And there it was.  I was thrown back into America with the slap in the face that I was behind the times technologically. 

For those two weeks and every other trip I took back to the States, I kept on calling.  I wasn't going to give in.  I love hearing a person's voice.  I love hearing their reaction and sarcasm and knowing what they meant by something, not wondering how a certain response was supposed to be taken.

I like to think that I have continued to keep up with my original goal of calling, but it isn't all that easy.  Now, I do understand that texting has its purpose, but I cannot stand text conversations.  If we are going to go back and forth a hundred thousand times, and misunderstand each other at least 500 times, can't we just call?

But the worst, literally the worst (quoting my cousin Mike right there... it has become a family joke) thing about texting is that people are always doing it.  Texting is fine when you are alone, sending a quick message or figuring out where people are, but not okay when you are with other people!  If you are spending time with me, for goodness sake, please stop texting all those other people!  No wonder the rate of ADHD has risen 28% over ten years! {source}

Everything we could ever want, need, dream or hope for, and more, is right at our fingertips in our telephone!  One conversation is no longer enough.  Now, we can talk to someone, play a game with someone else, text another person, poke another, wink at a fifth person and comment on another person's status all at the same time!  And I didn't even mention tweeting!

Okay, I'll get down off my soap box, pick up my iPhone and tweet about this blog post, proving myself to be a complete hypocrite, but I'm not with anyone right now, so I'll still consider myself to be the exception to the rule.

Don't stop tweeting, blogging, Words with Friends-ing, poking, Facebooking, emailing or  even texting- because I'm not going to- just don't do it while I'm trying to have a conversation with you, please!