Thursday, December 22, 2011

I haven't missed television one bit!

For the last year at my house in Khon Kaen, Cait and I did not have television.  For the first few weeks we debated getting it, but eventually we agreed it was a waste of money to spend to waste more time.  Coming home, I quickly learned how little we were missing.  I will always love the Food Network, but if it is one of their competition shows, I turn it off.  There is so much junk on television, it makes my head hurt.

Yesterday, while I was on the treadmill, I had a particularly terrible experience with television.  Now, I am not one to really watch the television while I am on the treadmill.  I listen to my own music, but often I read the ticker or subtitles as I glance around the fitness center and then occasionally back to the screen.  When I am cooling down and walking, I read my book, so the television is just background motion.

When I hopped on the treadmill yesterday the Dr. Oz show was on in front of me.  I have never watched the show, and I know very little about it.  I think Oprah has some bizarre obsession with him, but I don't know.  One of the bloggers that I follow had just made an appearance on his show, and I love what she writes, so I knew the show couldn't be all bad.

As soon as I started running, the commercials ended, and the camera zoomed in on feces.  Yup, you read that correctly, feces.  There were all sorts of feces on a table, sitting next to large vats of urine.  I thought I was going to throw up.  Then, a woman walked out of a port-a-potty on the stage to ask Dr. Oz a ridiculous question about her own feces issues, one that I will not repeat.  I tried to look away, to look for cute boys working out in the area below, but it was so hard.  I had a 50+" screen of poop in front of my face.

Next thing I knew, everyone in the audience put on purple rubber gloves, and pulled out small cups of their own urine.

I pushed the Emergency Stop button and the treadmill lurched to a stop.  I turned, on a mission, to find the remote.

I quickly changed the channel, flipping until I found anything less repulsive.  I settled on ESPN, and spent the rest of my run glancing at the ticker....  The Islanders won...  Kris Humphries (the fame- crazed giant who married Kim Kardashian for a day and a half) signed an 8 million dollar contract with the Nets...  And the entire world is absolutely obsessed with Tim Tebow- the Sports Center host mentioned him running for president.

Well, that was better.  Still a bit ridiculous, but better.

But, honestly, do people watch this junk?  Gross.  I don't need television.    

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