How do adults make friends?

I'm trying really, really hard, but at the end of the day, I'm all alone.

Moving to a new city is very challenging.  I don't have any friends.  I have been through more emotional highs and lows than one would experience on a roller coaster.

Last week was great!  I was very busy.  I had rowing in the mornings, an ice cream date with coworkers, trivia night, and an online dating date. 

I was thrilled for the long weekend and the prospect of sleeping in and relaxing.  Saturday morning I rowed, took Wilbur for a long walk and then treated myself to a Groupon pedicure.  Immediately after my pedicure I went to buy myself speakers for my apartment.  Unfortunately, I walked into Old Navy first.  There were tons of sales going on (and a very attractive employee encouraging me to try on more items) and I got a little carried away.  Needless to say, I am still using my computer speakers to listen to music, but I am rockin' a great new top right now.

After my little shopping spree I headed to Capitol Square to work at Taste of Madison.  I was volunteering with the Jaycees at one of the beer tents.  I had researched the group at my mother's recommendation and signed up for the first activity I could.  I showed up to the beer tent in an awesome new pair of pants ready to serve some beer, enjoy the vocal stylings of Mr. Kix Brooks of Brooks and Dunn, and meet some new friends. 

Four hours later I had a minor crush on a repeat beer buyer with a perfect smile, and plans for an evening out with the Jaycees.  We traveled in a pack to a nearby brew pub for cheese curds and beer before going to the one and only nightclub in town, if you could even call it that.  I walked home a little after midnight to find Wilbur sleeping on my bed.  His plan for me to come home too late and too inebriated to notice was a failure, and he was immediately scolded and sent to his own bed.

The next morning I pried the pup out of his bed and for a walk so I could report to half marathon training before 9 am.  I ran my prescribed 4 miles and hung around for a while after the run in hopes of sparking an amazing friendship with one of my fellow trainees.  I was home before 11 am without any new BFFs. 

Wilbur and I took another walk, sans headphones and sunglasses, with the intention of locking eyes with anyone awesome and starting a great conversation, and naturally, a lifelong friendship.

We were home within an hour.

I vacuumed my apartment, cleaned my bathroom and kitchen, listened to music from my telephone horn and eventually got ready for the Day Before Labor Day Barbecue I was invited to.

An iPhone horn.  It only costs about $5 and it is really awesome.  If you can't control your spending at Old Navy and therefore don't buy yourself real speakers, I highly recommend this.  It's also really great for using in the bathroom when you take a shower. 

With the top down and my passenger seat empty I sang my heart out all the way to the middle of nowhere for the barbecue.  I brought my standard brownies and impressed the crowd with my Wisconsin beer.  Beer chicken, buffalo dip, tomato mozzarella salad, and many conversations later, I drove home.

Monday morning I was ecstatic to wake up, see the clock read 6:04 am and turn over.  After 10 am I jumped out of bed with the excitement of a child on Christmas morning.  With nothing on the agenda and an amazing night of sleep under my belt, the day was destined for greatness.  Wilbur and I walked the long way to the dog park.  No amazing connections were made on the way there, but the small pack of humans at the park looked promising. 

While awkwardly standing and watching our dogs sniff each other's butts, we humans laughed and made small talk.  My phone buzzed in my pocket.  A text message.

Heather sent a mass text that her surgery was scheduled. 

I hadn't finished reading when the only person that regularly calls me started flashing across my screen.

"Hi, Mom."

I clipped the leash to Wilbur and we left the park. 

After my mom accompanied me on my walk home and asked me more questions about Heather's surgery than I could answer, I was back in my air conditioned apartment and all alone again. 

I spoke to Heather just last week and she told me surgery was the next step, but having a date scheduled made it real.  My heart hurt.  My heart hurt for Heather.  I wanted a distraction from my racing head and hurting heart, but I didn't have one.  My day was open, and I was all alone in Madison.  I am always alone in Madison.

So this is where I ask for audience participation!  How is an adult to make friends in a new city?  I have been trying all sorts of things and I still haven't found that person or those people, so any advice will be welcomed with open arms.  How am I to make friends?

It's a hard knock life

Wilbur has a tough life.  Every morning when I wake him up for his walk, he lets me know just how tough it is.  Sometimes he whines, other times he stretches for a good ten minutes, but his favorite move is to refuse to open his eyes.

Pretending to be asleep.

The night before we left for Madison.

I will give him a little credit, because the past two weeks have been really tough.  I took him away from his family and his best friend and immediately made him sit in a very hot car for 19 hours.  I made him stay in a bizarre hotel and ride an elevator.  Side note: watching a dog ride an elevator for the frist time, or the first few times, is absolutely hilarious.

His throne in the car

After the car ride I put him in a strange house with more strange people.  (The people weren't actually strange, just strangers to him)

The next day I made him stay in another new place with weird smells, bizarre sounds outside the door, and no furniture.  Only two days later I woke him up at 5 am.  This may have been the worst for him.  If Wilbur had control of his life he would go to bed at 8 pm every night and not wake up until 11 am.  Unfortunately, my new job likes me to arrive before noon, so he and I were up at 5. 

We took a nice long walk along a path that is becoming familiar.  And then I locked him up for the day.  But not before giving him his anti- anxiety treat!

There is a wonderful pet store down the street where Wilbur and I are quickly becoming regulars.  When we went there the first time the cute owner asked to be introduced to Wilbur.  When Wilbur backed away and put his tail down when he tried to give him a treat the man asked if he was always so skittish.  I explained that it had been a stressful week, and Wilbur had become a nervous nelly with the move.  The adorable man recommended special anti- anxiety treats to help.  And with a flash of his pearly whites, I was sold.  Yes, cute pet store owner, I will now medicate my dog.

But before you think I'm terrible for leaving Wilbur in his kennel all day, let me explain that he loves it!  He sleeps in his kennel by choice at night, and finds it comforting.  When everything around him has changed so significantly, his kennel and bed are the same, and he likes that.  I also put his kennel in my closet, so he can't hear people coming and going in the hall, which I think keeps his stress level to a minimum.

Luckily, last week was short, so Wilbur was only home alone for two days before I spent the day at home with him.  On the fourth Cait and I took Wilbur out to dinner with us at Roman Candle, a pizza place down the street from my apartment.

On the way home he stopped at our new favorite pet store.  I think we have different reasons for it becoming our favorite, but it works well for both of us!  The pet store was closed, but Wilbur didn't understand that.  He sat down in front of the door and didn't want to move.  The cat of MadCat came to the front door, and Wilbur was in love.  As she slinked back and forth, rubbing her back against the door, Wilbur followed her every move.  And now, he and I have similar motives for frequenting the store.

This past weekend I brought Wilbur into Waggin' Tails Doggy Dude Ranch to begin his life as a daycare-goer.  He had his temperament test and was immediately thrown to the wolves, or the pack of 30+ dogs in the small dog area.  When I was allowed to see him I was informed that he was doing quite well.  From a doggy daycare newbie, he looked like a brown noser to me, standing right next to the dogsitter waiting to be pet, but I guess that was good?  The woman said that the fact he wasn't hiding from the other dogs or getting aggressive were good signs.  Whatever you say, dog lady!  And so Wilbur will be going on Tuesday to play with the other pups and not be medicated while I work.  His cubby will remain empty, but if I decide to, he is allowed to bring special treats, toys or even an afternoon snack with him. 

Go ahead, make fun all you want.  Trust me, I know how silly it is.  I wonder if we will have quarterly parent-teacher conferences...  Progress reports?  Graduations?

Just after all of my stuff was delivered... see the over dramatic puppy?

This one time...

This one time, a new month was about to begin, June of 2012 to be exact, and I had nothing planned.  I knew I would have lots of free time, so I promised to blog every single day.  Then, before I knew it, I took two trips to New York City to work, one trip to Annapolis/ Baltimore, a trip to Maine, and I moved.  The next thing I knew I was all alone in Madison, Wisconsin, and it was July.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is July.  And I failed miserably with my month of blogging.  When I realized that June had suddenly gotten out of control (and I received a text encouraging me to give up the lame posts) I decided to stop until I had the time.

Here I am, blogging from my new apartment, in my new city, on the eve of beginning my new job!  Yay!

I am absolutely thrilled to begin work tomorrow.  And for some reason, I don't feel very nervous.  I don't want to jinx myself, but I am feeling quite good about tomorrow.  I guess it helps that I already have the job.  The night before the interview, I was a complete mess!

It is 9 pm here (an hour earlier than the east coast) and I'm going to try to sleep.  I have a very early morning tomorrow, and I want to be all bright eyed and bushy tailed for work! Yay!  I can't believe I actually get to say that!

Hopefully I will have nothing but great things to tell you tomorrow evening.  Well, sometimes the not-so-great things make the best stories, so hopefully I'll have a few of those to throw in as well.

Until then, goodnight from Wisconsin!

-Meaghan (and Wilbur)