I'm a Lucky Girl

I could sit for hours and list all of the things I am thankful for, because there are a lot. But while I spent Thanksgiving in Iowa City with one of my best friends and her family, I realized what I am most thankful for (after my Christmas Pandora station). I am thankful for my loving family and amazing friends I have around the country and the world.

This answer feels like a "duh" answer, but there is so much more to it.

Three years ago I spent Thanksgiving in Thailand, probably eating pad Thai, with one of my best friends. Two years ago I spent Thanksgiving with absolutely wonderful people eating tacos in Khon Kaen. Both years I was surrounded by great friends, most of which I am in contact with on a regular basis.

Last year I spent my Thanksgiving in New Zealand. Oh what I would give to be in Paekakariki again... For Thanksgiving I was spending time with new friends and catching up with family members that I hadn't seen in years, all while eating delicious food.

This year I was in Iowa City with another wonderful group of people. When I moved to Madison in June, Cait invited me to spend Thanksgiving with her family. Actually, now that I think about it, I may have invited myself, but either way, I knew I would be in Iowa City.

Cait's family welcomed me into their home, fed me a delicious home cooked meal on Wednesday and reminded me of the wonderful times that are to be had around the dinner table. While I watched her brothers pick on each other, and then Cait, and then all three children laugh at Grammy for a ridiculous nickname she recently created, I couldn't help but laugh. I got a side cramp from laughing so hard. At the same time, I was jealous. I wanted to laugh with my family.

The next morning we all ran the Turkey Trot (minus Grammy) and came home to coffee cake and the parade. Cait and I spoke to her parents and Grammy over coffee before taking our time getting ready for dinner. In the early afternoon we walked to the house next door and joined Cait's family and friends for a Thanksgiving feast for 40.

After dinner and a tryptophan daze I asked Cait what she was thankful for this year. She said, "I'm thankful that my grandma is here." My heart hurt just a little when she said it. She then asked me the same question. I told her, "I am thankful for the wonderful friends and family I have. This is the fourth year I haven't been with my family for Thanksgiving, but I am always with amazing people. And I know that no matter where I am in the country or the world, I will have someone to spend my Thanksgiving with, and that makes me really happy. I'm lucky."

What I didn't tell Cait is that since I have lived in Madison I have been invited to five different Thanksgivings. Five different and new people in my life have been kind enough to invite me to Thanksgiving, and that is a wonderful feeling. I am thankful for that.

Yesterday I drove to Milwaukee for the afternoon to see another friend from Thailand. I was once again reminded of the great people I have in my life and the friendships I have been able to maintain throughout the years.

Next year I want to be with my parents, my siblings, and my Ellie for Thanksgiving. I want to sit around the table and laugh at jokes and memories that I know. I want to write on the Thanksgiving tablecloth. But, I also want all of my friends to be there. So without my parents' approval, I am going to put out an open invitation for everyone to come to my house for Thanksgiving next year!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Training: Week Five

9 miles on Sunday

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(I didn't have as much fun as Phoebe)

Irritating pain in my left knee around mile 7

A very well-deserved shower

And another throwback photo

Flashlights up the nose? Classic.

I'm still training for my half-marathon, and still raising money for Crohn's and Colitis Foundation. I'm hoping to raise $2,700 by October 15 and $3,700 by December 2. Help a sister out?

Click here.

There are highs and there are lows

I may have upset a few people with my post about making friends. One person, who will remain nameless, called me for clarification. The post upset her for a few reasons. It made her sad to think that I was struggling with making friends. The post also resonated with her, and her current situation in a new place, trying to make friends. The post must have come off more sad than I had intended.

Yes, I am trying very hard to make friends in this area. And no, it isn't easy in any way, shape or form. But, I am doing my best to enjoy the ride.

With that said, I will admit that there are highs and lows. The past two weeks, in general, have been really great. I have been very busy with work and various social commitments. This weekend I was excited at the prospect of laundry, cleaning, yoga, and studying. Sure enough, Saturday afternoon rolled around and I found myself sitting in the parking lot of Bed Bath & Beyond in tears. I received this email from my mom:

The tears that had slowly been filling up my eyes during the week spilled right over the edge and onto my cheeks in the parking lot.

I intended for this post to have a much happier tone than the last, but unfortunately, today isn't one of the highs. I have had plenty of highs since moving to Madison, but today isn't one of those days. I want a hug. I think I'll have to settle for making cookies to mail to someone, in hopes of making his or her day a high.

How do adults make friends?

I'm trying really, really hard, but at the end of the day, I'm all alone.

Moving to a new city is very challenging.  I don't have any friends.  I have been through more emotional highs and lows than one would experience on a roller coaster.

Last week was great!  I was very busy.  I had rowing in the mornings, an ice cream date with coworkers, trivia night, and an online dating date. 

I was thrilled for the long weekend and the prospect of sleeping in and relaxing.  Saturday morning I rowed, took Wilbur for a long walk and then treated myself to a Groupon pedicure.  Immediately after my pedicure I went to buy myself speakers for my apartment.  Unfortunately, I walked into Old Navy first.  There were tons of sales going on (and a very attractive employee encouraging me to try on more items) and I got a little carried away.  Needless to say, I am still using my computer speakers to listen to music, but I am rockin' a great new top right now.

After my little shopping spree I headed to Capitol Square to work at Taste of Madison.  I was volunteering with the Jaycees at one of the beer tents.  I had researched the group at my mother's recommendation and signed up for the first activity I could.  I showed up to the beer tent in an awesome new pair of pants ready to serve some beer, enjoy the vocal stylings of Mr. Kix Brooks of Brooks and Dunn, and meet some new friends. 

Four hours later I had a minor crush on a repeat beer buyer with a perfect smile, and plans for an evening out with the Jaycees.  We traveled in a pack to a nearby brew pub for cheese curds and beer before going to the one and only nightclub in town, if you could even call it that.  I walked home a little after midnight to find Wilbur sleeping on my bed.  His plan for me to come home too late and too inebriated to notice was a failure, and he was immediately scolded and sent to his own bed.

The next morning I pried the pup out of his bed and for a walk so I could report to half marathon training before 9 am.  I ran my prescribed 4 miles and hung around for a while after the run in hopes of sparking an amazing friendship with one of my fellow trainees.  I was home before 11 am without any new BFFs. 

Wilbur and I took another walk, sans headphones and sunglasses, with the intention of locking eyes with anyone awesome and starting a great conversation, and naturally, a lifelong friendship.

We were home within an hour.

I vacuumed my apartment, cleaned my bathroom and kitchen, listened to music from my telephone horn and eventually got ready for the Day Before Labor Day Barbecue I was invited to.

An iPhone horn.  It only costs about $5 and it is really awesome.  If you can't control your spending at Old Navy and therefore don't buy yourself real speakers, I highly recommend this.  It's also really great for using in the bathroom when you take a shower. 

With the top down and my passenger seat empty I sang my heart out all the way to the middle of nowhere for the barbecue.  I brought my standard brownies and impressed the crowd with my Wisconsin beer.  Beer chicken, buffalo dip, tomato mozzarella salad, and many conversations later, I drove home.

Monday morning I was ecstatic to wake up, see the clock read 6:04 am and turn over.  After 10 am I jumped out of bed with the excitement of a child on Christmas morning.  With nothing on the agenda and an amazing night of sleep under my belt, the day was destined for greatness.  Wilbur and I walked the long way to the dog park.  No amazing connections were made on the way there, but the small pack of humans at the park looked promising. 

While awkwardly standing and watching our dogs sniff each other's butts, we humans laughed and made small talk.  My phone buzzed in my pocket.  A text message.

Heather sent a mass text that her surgery was scheduled. 

I hadn't finished reading when the only person that regularly calls me started flashing across my screen.

"Hi, Mom."

I clipped the leash to Wilbur and we left the park. 

After my mom accompanied me on my walk home and asked me more questions about Heather's surgery than I could answer, I was back in my air conditioned apartment and all alone again. 

I spoke to Heather just last week and she told me surgery was the next step, but having a date scheduled made it real.  My heart hurt.  My heart hurt for Heather.  I wanted a distraction from my racing head and hurting heart, but I didn't have one.  My day was open, and I was all alone in Madison.  I am always alone in Madison.

So this is where I ask for audience participation!  How is an adult to make friends in a new city?  I have been trying all sorts of things and I still haven't found that person or those people, so any advice will be welcomed with open arms.  How am I to make friends?

Another great day in Saratoga

Last night I went out to a friend's camp in Galway, a town just west of Saratoga.  It was a small group of friends from high school.  The house sits on a small lake, and although we didn't partake in any lake activities, the view was gorgeous.  We spent a great night drinking beer, catching up and laughing.  There was a lot of laughing.

Liz in her "camp attire."

This morning we all went our separate ways, but not before I was invited to the kickball game later that afternoon about a hundred times.  I didn't commit, but knew I would probably end up there.  I went home, attempted to get my affairs in order for the coming week, and then I hit the gym.  I swung by home, picked up Wilbur, and we headed to the park.  When we arrived, what I saw was perfectly Saratoga.  And exactly what I love about this town.

The team, New Kicks On The Block, had an iPod blaring music over the kickball field.  There were parents, family members, friends, significant others and dogs of the players littering the sideline.  There were coolers of beer, coolers of water, and orange slices.  And the field was filled with many of my very good friends from high school.  Everyone was very excited when I arrived, but unfortunately I was late.  Somehow I received incorrect information, and arrived thirty minutes late... whoops!  I still watched them keep their undefeated record and crush the other team.  After the game finished, they quickly put together another pick up game while I chatted on the sidelines.

After a quick clean up, we all jumped in our cars to head downtown.  The kickball league is sponsored by Peabody's Sports Bar, so of course we had to head there.  The players, significant others and dogs tagged along for more beer and discounted appetizers.  We took over the outdoor patio area as the sun dried the puddles from the brief rain storm.

It was wonderful to be sitting in Saratoga with friends, old and new, just hanging out.  One of my friends came over and asked, "you know, you don't have to hate Saratoga so much."  I looked at him and was completely baffled.

"What do you mean?  Hate Saratoga?!"
"You just keep moving away!  But this town isn't as bad as you think it is."
"Are you kidding me?!  I love Saratoga!  I adore Saratoga!  Yes, I have to move for my job, but I'll come back.  I WILL come back.  This place is awesome!"
"Oh."

I'm not sure what signals I had or have been giving to make him think that I hate Saratoga, but let me clear the air.  I love Saratoga!  And this day was the perfect example.  I'm going to miss having so many friends around.  I'm going to miss the chance to be on a team with some of my very best friends for the past 10 years.  I'm going to miss downtown.  I'm moving to Madison, but that is not because I hate Saratoga!  It isn't even because I dislike Saratoga!  I'm moving to Madison for a job.  End of story. I have every intention to come back to Saratoga.  It may be three years from now, or it may be thirteen years from now, but it will happen.  I will be back.  This town is great.

I WILL make friends!

In my search for a new car my dad keeps reminding me of the Saab that is sitting in the driveway.  Garvey just bought himself a car, and my dad will be leaving the country for the year, which puts my parents in possession of too many cars and not enough drivers.  The plan was to sell the Saab, but my dad can't seem to part with it, and has offered it to me on multiple occasions.

Now please don't think of me as a spoiled brat for turning it down, but I have my reasons.  For one, I was really excited to buy myself a car!  This is the first time in my life that I will be making a significant purchase- like a car.  This is also the first time that I have had a significant enough salary to make such a purchase.

But, there is another reason.  While I was shopping for cars I made a list of my non- negotiables.  On the top of that list is four doors. After driving the Saab, and being a passenger in countless other two door cars, I know what a hassle they can be.  The massive doors, the seats that must be flipped, the seatbelts that are at the most awkward angle ever, and I could go on.  But as I attempted to explain this to my sister she said, "Meaghan, what do you really care about having to flip the seats for people to get in the back? It's not like you have any friends in Madison that you'll be driving around!"  I further explained the hassle by saying that just putting groceries or anything in the back seat cannot be done without flipping the seats.  When I realized that she wasn't going to understand I said, "you don't even have your license!   You wouldn't understand."  I walked away from the conversation feeling a bit down.  I do have one friend in Madison, but I fully intend to make more.  And Erin had only reaffirmed one of the things that make it hard to move to a new place: the lack of friends and family.

Two weeks later when the topic of the Saab came up with my dad, he again urged me to take the car.  I told him I would consider it, but I was still hesitant.  I again explained my dislike for two-door cars.  He looked at me sideways, as in, what is wrong with only two doors?  I then went into my spiel about friends getting into the back and having to get out of the driver's seat and flip the seat for passengers.  My dad chuckled and said, "but you don't have any friends in Madison!  Who are you driving around in the car?!"  This time I snapped.

"I do have a friend!  Caitlin lives there!  And seriously?  It's a new town, of course I don't have a ton of friends!  But do you really think I won't make any friends?  I have every intention to have a ton of friends there!  And I intend to have them be passengers in my car!"

And with that, our conversation was over.

As more time has passed, I have decided to take the Saab.  If the car is really just going to be sold, I might as well take it, right?  And, even though it isn't my dream car, it is pretty great.  The car is also Wilbur's favorite, because he can open the window with his paw.  (Thank goodness for child safety locks!)  I have plenty years of life left to have my dream car, or more appropriately, dream cars.

On June 26th Wilbur and I are heading west in the Saab.  Hopefully the top will be down and the weather will be perfect for our ride.  And when I arrive in Madison I will be thrilled to jump out of my seat to let passengers into the back!  By George, I am going to make friends... lots of them!  The more the merrier!  Anyone want to be my friend in Madison?

Friends in NYC

Living in New York has been interesting.

For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to live in New York City.  And being able to live here for the past few months has been amazing.  But, what I have been most grateful for are the friends and family that live nearby.

One of the biggest reasons I moved back to the States was to be closer to my friends and family.  Let me tell you, I have not regretted it for a second.

The very first weekend I moved here, Jen and McKenzie invited me to their apartment for a pancake breakfast.  It was wonderful to see them, catch up, meet some new people in the city, and eat awesome pancakes!

Since then there have been dinners, birthday parties, movies and general hanging out together.  It has been so nice to have them here and to be so welcoming.

Four Saratoga girls in NYC!

Another friend of mine from Saratoga, Todd, moved here two weeks before I did.  He and I have enjoyed a few nights out together, and they have always been extremely enjoyable.  Todd is a riot, and one heck of a karaoke singer!  Just ask Heather, because she and I had an awesome time with Todd.

And then there is the family.  Heather has already been to visit me for a weekend, and Ann and I are having lunch today while she is in town for a meeting.  I also saw Kiki briefly between the bachelorette party and my trip to Wisconsin.  Okay, maybe they aren't technically family, but they are.

Kelly, Dave, Hannah and Adelaide have been amazing!  I spent a night out in New Jersey with them back in February when I babysat.  It was such a welcome relief to get out of the city, to be in a house and to spend time with family that wasn't my sister.

Then, out of the blue, a few Saturdays ago Kelly called to ask if I had any plans.  They were spending the day in the city and asked me to meet them.  They proceeded to take me on a culinary tour of the Upper West Side.  I think they were trying to have me put on all the weight I had lost after Addie's illness got the best of me.  They succeeded.  Just so you all know, Shake Shack is delicious.  And they have a location at the Saratoga Race Track in the summer!

While Dave stalked the seating area for a table, Kelly, Hannah and I stood in line.  Kelly recommended a ShackBurger and a shake.  Sounds simple enough, but there were options, and I wanted to make sure I got the best!  For the shakes, the menu says, "hand-spun vanilla, chocolate, caramel, black & white, strawberry or peanut butter."  After reading the "or" in the description, it seemed that mixing flavors was not allowed, and I ordered a peanut butter shake.  Just as Kelly was finishing the order the woman next to us asked her counterperson what his favorite shake is.  He loudly proclaimed to what seemed like the entire restaurant, "Oh!  You have to have the chocolate peanut butter shake!"  I immediately grinned from ear to ear and said, "ooooooh, that sounds good.  I'm sorry, can I change my order to a chocolate peanut butter shake, please?"  The woman behind our register gave us the death stare.  She looked like a bobble head as she bobbed to give me the death rays and then back to the screen.  Uh oh. I have angered it.

It was very loud in the restaurant so Kelly leaned in and politely asked, "did you hear her?  She would like to change her shake to a chocolate peanut butter."  Bobble Head bobbed her visored Shake Shack weave to give Kelly the harshest, most sarcastic look I have ever seen.  She pouted her lips, tilted her head, made her eyes really wide and gave one succinct nod of her head.  She said nothing, but the look said more than enough.  I could just hear her saying OH NO YOU DIH-INT!  I also imagined her doing an aggressive hand snap motion in front of our faces, but that didn't happen.  She handed us our buzzer, and we disappeared into the crowd.

The food was awesome!  And I don't think she spit in anything.  "Think" being the operative word.  She did, however, mess up my shake.  But, Kelly and I didn't want to deal with It anymore, and we mixed our own shakes.  Thanks for sharing, Kell!

Just when I thought I couldn't be any more stuffed, the Sachter clan took me to Levain Bakery.  Levain Bakery is to die for.  With only four cookies to choose from, you can't go wrong.  I could go wrong with the oatmeal raisin, but that's because raisins make me ill just to think about them.  The average person will have a 100% success rate at this bakery.  These warm and gooey cookies, large enough for four, are worth every single calorie of the buttery goodness you consume.  Trust me.  Or trust Hannah Banana Monkey and her chocolate covered smile!

Sugar high!

Last weekend Erin and I also had the pleasure of going out to Patty and Jim's house for the afternoon.

Karen Erin's snacks for the train ride.

Jim picked us up from the train station and brought us home to a house filled with the smell of corned beef.  Patty and I then filled the air with our chatter as she passed out her clippings and we caught up.  Not too much later Tara arrived with the girls, and they came bearing gifts.  Erin and I scored three boxes of Girl Scout cookies!

John and Jane arrived in their convertible with photos and stories from Stephen and Maureen's wedding.  I now know why Maureen was behind the bar in her wedding dress!

Tara told us about Kailey's recent antics, including a fall from a tree and a plan to cut a hole in the wall of her bedroom "to practice sneaking out the window" for when she is older.  And Laura showed us her awesome project: duct tape purses!  I may have to put an order in for a few birthday presents...

We then took a walk down to the beach and enjoyed the incredibly warm weather.

In search of sea glass.

Erin never stops dancing.  Ever.

Eventually we meandered back to the house for the highly anticipated meal of corned beef and cabbage

Erin was trying to be artistic here.  She took this as the four of us were discussing how ridiculous "walking away" photos are, and how Jenny and Tara were the original hipsters to have that photo.

I have spent the last three years yearning for corned beef and cabbage in Thailand.  It was everything I could have ever hoped for.  Well done, Chef Patty.  After dinner we enjoyed a typically Garvey feast of desserts.  We had brownie pie, Guinness cake, mint chocolate chip ice cream and pastries.  Now that I think about it, it sounds like the whole family is out to make me fat!

And how about the Dooley side of the family?!

Well, for one, Kaitlyn lives here!  Erin and I have gotten together with her a handful of times.  The evening after the Giants won the Super Bowl we went out to dinner with Uncle Kevin and Kaitlyn.  On our way to dinner we saw Eli Manning.  No big deal.  And a few weeks ago we got to see her perform in a one act play.  She was a fetus.  And she was awesome.

One night last month we had dinner with Colavito Clan.  Brittany was working hard at Scranton, but we enjoyed a delicious Italian dinner with the rest of the family.  They were spending the weekend at The Manhattan Club.  They had just seen Spider Man when we had dinner with them, and they do not recommend it.  Just passing along the information.

And, I can't forget my immediate family.  Chip has been down to visit twice.  My parents have been down, well, a lot.  And I get to see everyone this weekend in Saratoga.  Woo hoo!

I have only lived in the city for nine weeks, and I have seen so many people!  This is why I moved back here.  This is exactly why.

I miss Paul

When I visited New Zealand I was going through a very tough time.  I was leaving Thailand, knowing that I had only 48 hours left with my best friends for more than 2 years.

Jennifer and I talked a lot.  She could clearly see the internal demons I was fighting.  I was struggling with emotions from all different continents, corners of the world and different relationships.  The first thing she addressed was the issue of Paul.  And to be perfectly honest, I don’t know if Paul reads this blog or not, but either way, it won’t change the story.  

Jennifer first asked me what the real relationship was between the two of us.  So, to clear the air for all of you wondering, (I like to pretend I have people following me out there) we are best friends.  From the moment we began spending time together, Christmas eve of 2009 to be exact, we were instant friends.  Something between us clicked.  We understood each other.  We understood each other’s sense of humor, and at times, lack thereof.  There was something about us that worked.  From the moment it happened, I was thrilled.  Yes, I had Koreana in my life, and living right next door nonetheless, but I craved male friendship.  I had spent the majority of my life having a male best friend, and I missed it.  Throwback to the years in grade 4 and 5 with Garret, 7 and 8 with Joey, 10, 11 and 12 with Kareem and Devin, university with Drew, and Dave when I would come home for the summers... Well, you see the pattern.  I always have a male best friend in my life.  And yes, while in the past I have had some trouble with mixing friendships with attraction, I have always had man friends, and I am still in contact with all of them.  

So when I arrived in Paekakariki and Jennifer said, “tell me about Paul” I responded as I would to anyone: “he is my best friend.”  

I told Jennifer a little about him, how we first met, where he is from, etc.  And for those of you who don’t know, he is from New Jersey.  Yes, as my mother said in her loudest, and most motherly voice, “you went all the way to Thailand to meet a boy from New Jersey?!”  Yes, I did.

After I finished the basic explanation, Jennifer waited, allowing me to finish my thoughts, hoping the silence would coax me to continue.  When I didn’t she asked, “is that it?”  I think she, just like everyone else in my life, thinks that he and I have had something more than just friendship going on.  She eventually broke the silence by saying, “well, from reading your blog, he clearly plays a huge role in your life.  I thought there was something more there.”  (Jennifer, please forgive me if I have misquoted you, but this is how I remember the conversation) 

She was right.  Jennifer was completely right.  He did play a huge role in my life.  He was my best friend.  He was my coworker.  He was my drinking buddy.  He was the owner of my Manao’s dog friend.  He was my business partner with the after school program.  He was my exterminator.  He was my Didine- eating, movie- watching companion.  He was my moving company.  He was my taxi company.  He was my voice of reason.  He was my voice of immaturity.  He was my everything.  Nearly.

Coming back to New York was thrilling.  I was beside myself when I was able to see Kareem again.  My eyes welled up with tears when I saw Devin.  And Dave, well, he made a few inappropriate comments, I blushed and told him he was embarrassing me, and we were back right where we had left off.  Now all of these boys are short phone call or text away; I don’t have to dial internationally, use precious minutes and  hold my breath for the off chance he may pick up the telephone.  But with Paul, I have to do all of those things.

I’m incredibly grateful to be back in the States and close to so many of my friends and family members, but I still miss Thailand.  And I still miss Paul.

Unfortunately, there are zero photos of the two of us.  So here is a dark, blurry and cropped PhotoBooth photo.  

We have better photos of our dogs than we do of ourselves.