Sunday, September 23, 2012

Bachelor Number 2

Welcome back to The Dating Game!



In case you missed the first post in this series, Bachelor #1 was less than impressive. That sums that up. Moving right along...

Bachelor #2: The Musician

After three weeks of OkCupid messages, I bit the bullet and asked Ken if he would like to meet me for drinks. (Side note: when I told this story to Stephen, Maureen, John, and Jane, John smacked my hand when he heard I asked a boy out.) Ken accepted my invitation, and at my suggestion, we met at The Coopers Tavern, a bustling beer place on the square. I had never been to Coopers before, but when I arrived thirty minutes early, I was pleasantly surprised by the ambiance and please I had taken my office mate's recommendation 

I sat at the bar, ordered a beer and immediately eyed a very attractive man sitting kitty-corner from me. He wasn't the person I was meeting, but I couldn't help think that I wouldn't mind being stood up.

Fifteen minutes after our scheduled meeting time (which he had pushed back by an hour earlier in the day) I was still sitting at the bar, nursing my beer. I begrudgingly took out my telephone and as though it was magic, received a text message. Ken wrote: "I'm here. Where r u?"

The text speak made my hair stand on end. The fact that he didn't see the girl he was looking for, the girl who was sitting directly in front of the door looking exactly like her photo made me want to walk out (or scoot closer to cute kitty-corner boy). And the fact that he was 15 minutes late, well, we won't go there. I responded to the message: "I'm sitting at the bar- close to the front door."

Ken The Musician came from the back room and sat down in the empty chair next to me. My heart sank. His photos online must have been some strain of glamour shots, or of his extremely attractive twin brother, because he didn't look nearly as handsome in real life. Ken ordered a beer and the chatter began. As it turns out, he doesn't have a European accent. He wasn't born in some far off land of amazing accents and stories, he was born in small town Wisconsin. Online lie #1. When I asked where he was born and heard his response I said, "hmmm, that isn't in Europe" and I finished my beer.

To keep the conversation rolling, and to give the Online Liar another chance, I asked what type of music he taught at the university. I told him that I had taken piano lessons for fun in college, and absolutely loved it. His response was, again, less than impressive. "Well, technically I don't teach at the university. I am a substitute accompanist for the ballet classes. They only need me once or maybe twice a semester. Sometimes I teach kids too. Oh, and I go to Nashville a lot to play gigs." Online lie #2.

For some crazy reason I decided to give this boy one more chance. I asked Ken where he saw his career in five years. When he told me he had no desire to accomplish any more than he already had, I was ready to walk out. A liar without any dreams or goals? No, thank you. I didn't immediately jump up from my chair, giving Ken enough time to ask me about NYC. I had recently received a call from Phillipe asking me to return for fall fashion week, at the models' request, so I told him about my time working with the models. I told him that I was responsible for chauffeuring very famous Chinese models around. I told him "I know nothing about fashion, so I was shocked to find out how influential these women are in fashion!" Ken gave me the side eye, interrupted me, and in a quite accusatory tone said, "you aren't into fashion? Really? That's not what it looks like."

Oh no you dih-int!


You did not just accuse me of being fashionable and make it out to be a bad thing! I will take that as a compliment, and I will be on my way, sir.  

I glanced at my watch, realizing that being in bed would be far more productive and enjoyable than this conversation. It didn't take long for the evening to wrap up, although Ken The Lying Musician couldn't seem to take the hint of my clock-watching. I think he finally understood when I said, "gosh, look at the time! I have a very early morning tomorrow, I should really be heading home." 

We walked out of Coopers and I took a left toward my car. When we hit the corner I thanked Ken for the drink, kept my arms crossed, and crossed the street. I got into the car knowing that I would need to go back to Coopers, but not with Ken. I also knew that the feeling was mutual, and there would be no second date.

Three days later I received a text:
"It was really great to meet you. I enjoyed our time together. Would you like to go out again next week?"

What? Heck no! Were you not on that date?! It was terrible!

Side eye. {source}


My response:
"Thank you so much for taking me out, it was nice to meet you as well. Unfortunately, I didn't feel the connection that I was hoping for. I don't want to lead you on by going out again."

Next!

3 comments:

  1. I am sorry that your dates have been failures, but now you really will know when you meet Mr. Right. If you'd met him first, you might question what else is out there.

    I love the side eyes and the dih-int! You are so funny.

    Miss you,
    Mom

    ReplyDelete