Two bags (under 23kg) and a carry on

The day has finally arrived.  It is moving day in Khon Kaen.  I have moved plenty in Khon Kaen- from apartment to house, house to new house, classroom to new classroom, etc- but this one is for real.  I'm leaving Khon Kaen.  I'm leaving Thailand.

Everything about this move is bittersweet, and I'm struggling to put my thoughts and emotions into words.  Well, honestly, I am just struggling to control my emotions.

Back in September, Paul and I had our last day of The American After School Program.  Just as with every session, I made a slide show.  Paul and I both knew it was our last day, but we hadn't told the kids we wouldn't be having another session.  As we watched the slideshow I was beaming.  I was so proud of our amazing students, and so proud of what Paul and I had accomplished.  The slideshow ended, and Paul ruined it all.  He told the kids that I would be moving back to the States, and there would be no more After School Program.  Watching their faces drop in disbelief, and admitting to them, and to myself, that I was leaving, was devastating.  I started crying.  Paul laughed at the awkward situation, and eventually said, "will it be this easy to make you cry from now on?"  I promptly said "no.  Definitely not."

I lied.

There are a lot of reasons why it is hard for me to leave Thailand.  But there is no doubt in my mind, the relationships are the hardest to say goodbye to.  My friends are going to miss me just as much as I am going to miss them.  If I hear Pee New say "Meaghan, don't go to America.  I will miss you so much.  Stay in Thailand, I love you!" one more time, I might just have to stay.  But she isn't the only one.  All of my friends are calling me, texting me, writing on my facebook wall and stopping by my house just to spend a little more time with me before I go.  They want to have just one more beer, one more barbeque, one more trip to the mall, one more party, one more day at the dam.  It would be so much easier if they weren't as crazy about me as I am about them.  But then again, these years have been too great to be easy to say goodbye to.

Two years of my life have been packed up in two checked bags and a carry on.  It wasn't easy to do that, but I did.  It won't be easy to get on that bus, but I will.

It's bittersweet because of every great thing I have to look back on, and every amazing thing I have to look forward to.

So here I am, signing off from 625/ 55 Piman Chon 1.  I'll be back, writing from an apartment, a friend's house, an airport or New Zealand, but not from this house.

It's been real.  It's been fun.  It's been real fun.