For as long as I can remember I have had an unhealthy fear of rejection. I say unhealthy because it has limited me. My fear has kept me from doing things, saying things, and trying things. I have only recently accepted this fear as just that. In the past I wouldn't have known how to classify or describe it, but now, I can confidently say that rejection scares the bejesus out of me.
At the risk of sounding as though I am bragging, I think a big part of the reason I am petrified of rejection is because I haven't had much experience with it. When I think back through the years, I see a consistent pattern of not being rejected. I was accepted to honors classes. I was a top rower during high school and recruited by multiple universities. I was accepted to the two universities I applied to. I was hired by all the jobs I applied to after I graduated. I was accepted by CIEE to teach in Thailand. It felt easy.
Fast forward to the real world in the USA.
I am applying to jobs left and right. And, while I know that unemployment is currently at 8.3%, I really thought I wouldn't be in that percentage. Yes, I have a part time job driving, but it is not paying the bills. I need a full- time, dependable job with a consistent paycheck. Heck, I sent in an application to Whole Foods in hopes of being hired! And, no, I haven't heard back from them yet.
In January I wrote a blog post about not receiving an interview for a position I was very interested in. It stung. I was new to the job search, and hoped things would get better. With more practice and more time, I thought I would eventually find the right job. Well, it doesn't work that way. Yesterday I received another email that went something like, "after careful consideration we have decided not to move forward with your candidacy." And another one bites the dust.
Shoot.
Even after multiple rejections and failed attempts at being hired, it still stings.
Gosh, and I didn't even get into being rejected by men! That's for another post.
Keep plugging along...I received dozens of those generic emails and look at me now :) AND HEY, I have a job waiting for you just down the road here at CF with the one and only Aunt Ann! DC is calling, pick up the phone!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Heather. If my middle of the country situation doesn't work out, I think I'll be picking up the phone. No, I know I will be.
DeleteWe feel your pain, Meaghan! You'll get there. The right job just hasn't come along quite yet. Come out to visit us if you ever need a day away at the beach:)
ReplyDeleteI'm going out to your mom's this Sunday, and I'm hoping for a beautiful and warm day on the beach!
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