Did I tell you that?

On New Year’s Eve Dexter and I had a breakfast date.  But considering we were both a few minutes late for our 11:00 breakfast date, it ended up morphing into more of a lunch date, but that is beside the point.  While standing in line for the most delicious bagels in the greater capital region, a tall man behind us said, “hey, Dexter!  How are ya?”  Dexter and I both turned to look at him.  I had no idea who he was, but he hadn’t said hi to me.  When he reintroduced himself to Dexter I knew exactly who he was.  My, how my little brother’s friends have grown!  He then said hello to me, asked me how things were going, and turned his attention back to Dexter.  He congratulated Dexter on his most recent, and very impressive, accomplishment, earning Coach of the Year in Colorado.  Dexter thanked him, we ordered our food and sat down to chat.

We sat for a while catching up.  He told me about his kids running.  I told him about my kids that I left in Thailand.  We both talked about teaching.  We both talked about how much we love working with kids.  And then, as the person who knew us said goodbye and left, we started talking about technology.  Dexter mildly mocked me for my obsessive blogging, but admitted his desire to read it.  But between my blog, our two smartphones, and looking around the coffee shop to see all the different types of technology, we agreed that it is just the way of the world these days.  But what Dexter said to me, made me think more about what we are all doing with this technology.  

Dexter has been living in Colorado since we graduated from high school in 2005.  He went to university there, worked for a few years, and is now back in school again and coaching high school.  Throughout the years he and I have kept in touch over the phone, through facebook, birthday cards and the occasional Saratoga reunion.  But, as I have spent quite a bit of time with him over the last week or so, I have watched as tons of people have congratulated him on his coaching.  So, over our lightly toasted bagels with a schmear, he said, and yes, I wrote this quote down in my telephone, “I have to not get offended when people don’t ask me stuff because it’s on facebook.”

Dexter then explained how strange it has been to come back to Saratoga to be congratulated for something he never told the person about.  Yes, it was put on facebook and reposted by friends and family members, but it is a bizarre concept.  The two of us questioned when it became socially acceptable to use a status update or tweet to start a conversation, without ever asking questions about it.  Instead of asking, “oh, Dexter, what have you been up to?” leading to the coach of the year conversation, people simply congratulate him.  

I could sympathize with the strangeness of it, being a big time blogger and all.  But how much do we assume we know about others based on profiles, updates and tweets?  And just because we know it, should we be commenting on it?

Dexter and I came to the conclusion that it is 2012.  We can’t do anything about the information floating around out there.  And, being bloggers, facebookers, tweeters, etc., we are only encouraging the global distribution of information.  We do, however, love real conversations.  It would have been wonderful for the younger unnamed man to say, “congrats about the Coach of the Year!  I read about it in the paper... Tell me about it!”  But, alas, he didn’t.  And Dexter “has to not get offended.”  

As we continue to put the information out there, we have to accept that people have received the information.  So even though I read the statuses, I will probably still ask you questions.  And even though you read my blog, I will still answer any question you ask me!  I think Dexter would say the same.