It is my eleventh day living the city, and this is the first day I feel like this. I'm a little bit frustrated with the job search and a little bit frustrated with life in general. I am incredibly grateful to have the opportunity to be living in NYC. And I am even more grateful to be living in an apartment and not worrying about rent. But, this isn't me.
I don't want to be dependent. I strongly dislike depending on my parents to pay the rent right now. I strongly dislike depending on my sister to give me something to do every day. But more than anything, I am disliking the lack of structure I have in my life right now. Other than picking Erin up from ballet every day, I have nothing to do. I spend a lot of time on my computer job huntin', but there is no time requirement or schedule that comes with that. Oh, and I have been reading A LOT. It has been great, but it also lacks a schedule.
I envy the people in a hurry, rushing to meetings and appointments. I want to set my alarm in the morning and have a reason to wake up at that time. I am sure there are plenty of you reading this blog, envious of my lack of schedule, structure, obligations in general, but I'm tired of it. I quit my job at Anuban Khon Kaen last July. And aside from a few more weeks of The American After School Program and tutoring, I have been happily unemployed since. I spent plenty of time traveling and enjoying my life and friends in Thailand, but I'm not in Thailand anymore.
I become bored easily. I have loved every second of being unemployed thus far, but I'm ready for the next thing.
So, today was tough. I didn't receive any of the emails or phone calls I was hoping for. I didn't have a schedule to adhere to. I wandered the streets of NYC, watching as the rest of the population raced through the city. I was jealous.
Luckily, I was forced out of my mehhh mood because it is Erin's birthday!
Happy Sweet 16! (Sorry you can't drive...)
Erin's best friend Maddie and I surprised her after ballet. I came armed with a best friend, a balloon and a crown, it was bound to be good. The three of us headed to Ellen's Stardust Diner for a loud, and slightly embarrassing dinner with singing. It was just what she (and I) needed.
Opening presents at midnight. I was already in bed, and Erin wouldn't take "no" for an answer, so presents were opened at the foot of my bed.
Chex Mix and baked goodies from Ellie
COLORFUL throw pillows for the couch
And fuzzy penguin pajamas. Classic.
A crown, a balloon and an Brownie Explosion Sundae (on the house!)
He sang to her and fed her. Is this Forno?
Rockin' a balloon on the subway. NBD.
And a group effort Sweet 16 cake! The cake was baked by Mom (no oven... remember?), frosted by Meaghan and decorated with candles from Mom and Ellie. That's teamwork.
So glad to see that Erin had a fun birthday - presents are always awesome, as is time spent at the Stardust Diner! Meaghan, maybe the timing is right for you to address another item on The List, namely volunteering your time and efforts to a person or cause that is important to you (hint, Kiki's idea!). You will surely feel better when you can, at least briefly, see beyond your immediate frustrations and help someone else in the process:) You are very talented - you have a lot to offer the world! Go for it!
ReplyDeleteYou are a good sister Megaboos. Love, Mom
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